Wednesday, March 29, 2017

The Grace In Not Knowing

I was thinking about my kids the other day when I had these thoughts;
•there was a time when I picked them up in my arms for the last time
•I kissed an owey all better for the last time
•I read them a bedtime story for the last time
•I bathed them for the last time
• I rocked them to sleep for the last time
•I cleaned up their toys for the last time
•they held onto the shopping cart and my hand in the busy parking lot for the last time
•they needed help in the bathroom, getting dressed, getting something from the counter or fridge for the very last time
.....the list truly goes on and on.

The point is all these lasts went by without fanfare, without all the attention the firsts got.
The more I thought about it the more emotional I got.
Here's why, what if in those last moments I was completely aware of it being the last?! I probably would have not only been a complete blubbering mess but I would have lingered in that moment a lot longer, I may have held on a bit tighter, snuggled a bit closer and the truth of the matter is I probably would never have let go!!!!
Herein lies the grace of not knowing the lasts are upon us and go by without us really taking notice, it's in those exact moments we have begun the process of letting our children go, grow and become all they were created to be without it being a big traumatic experience for both of us.
As parents we want our children to grow, expand their world and become all that they are called to be and with each little and big last we are guiding them to just that and letting them go little by little.
The key for me as I was thinking about this, and not letting it overwhelm me, was the reminder to cherish the moments I have with them, to enjoy them and not wish them away to the next stage...sleeping through the night, no diapers, walking, toddler, teenager, they can drive, graduation, adult...poof they are gone...enjoy every little moment.
Let's not waste a moment wishing away the stage we are in, instead take notice of the little to big people they are becoming, uniquely loved individuals here for a purpose. Cherish them, encourage them, laugh with them, enjoy them and hold them close even if it's just for a moment before they wiggle out of your arms.
If we are fortunate enough to watch them they grow to a ripe old age we will have many exciting firsts yet to come, to commemorate, to celebrate with many more moments and memories to share!
No matter how old my children get they will always be pieces of my heart walking around outside of my body causing tremendous joy and yes sometimes pain....yet I wouldn't trade it for the world!!!
Have a great day friends!!
Enjoy your kidlets today 💕!!

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