Friday, January 23, 2015

The Beginning of Us

17 years ago on this day, a barely 21 year old version of myself walked down a long church aisle....most people fall in love, get married and then have children, ours was a little mixed up.
To say I didn't have doubts would be a lie.
To say I wasn't terrified would also be a lie.
I stood at the back of the church holding on to my dads arm and a stream of not so nice words was coming out of my mouth..( starts with s ends with t and says hi in the middle :S).....yes classy I know, and definitely not the magic words every bride says when she is about to head down the aisle on what's supposed to be the day she's always dreamt of.
My dad stood beside me and calmly said "It's going to be okay."
His chin quivered and we were both overcome with emotion, in that moment he was my rock!
My dad and I headed down the aisle and it was a beautiful ceremony, Conrad and I cried during our vows pledging eternal love, and the rest of the night went by in a blur.
We had two whole days of a honeymoon because I was in school, our wedding was on a Friday and I was expected back on Monday.
The first day I spent crying.
It could have been the pregnancy hormones, as I was 4 months pregnant at the time of our wedding (shocker), or it was me being me and doubting my decision.
I wasn't a big Jesus girl back then, sure I called myself a Christian, the kind that goes to church on the occasional Sunday and says the right things to the right people, but I didn't have relationship with Jesus.
I loved Conrad, at least was convinced I did, but did I really know what love was, it all happened so fast. We met in June and were married in January and we were pregnant, did we truly believe we loved each other or was it infatuation and lust?
Well 17 years later I can say that our growing relationship with Jesus has made ALL the difference!! The craziness of starting a life together pregnant, having Noah and then adding two more kids to the mix within a few years...we are still standing. Even though at times I wasn't actively pursuing Jesus, He never let go of me and us!!!
The ground in our marriage has been shaken, a few times to the core. Love at times was a definite decision, but through it all Jesus has remained our rock and He turned what could've been a statistic into what we have today; A marriage that is loving, growing, always learning, hopefully changing for the good and yes still takes work. We have three amazing teens, a family we are so blessed and thankful to have!!
Why did I share all this?!
Because we ALL need hope, Jesus was our hope! He was our only chance of survival, starting out barely knowing each other, and today I am so thankful that we have made it this far!!
Wherever you are, whatever circumstances in life you are facing...married, unmarried, divorce, job loss, young, old, facing illness, loss of a loved one, brokenness, doubt, insecurity .....whatever it is hold on to HOPE friend, Jesus truly loves you sooo much, trust Him and He will make a way, a path just for you, where there seems to be no way!
We are all on this journey together I am still learning to keep hope alive and to trust every day!!
Love you friends!
HAPPY 17th ANNIVERSARY BABE!! Love you party in a can and barrel of monkeys much!! Praying for many more years together 😘!!

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