Friday, November 28, 2014

The Sewing Chair

Kez received an antique sewing chair filled with thread from a great-great Aunty.
It is filled with spools and spools of thread of all different colours, many still wrapped in plastic and multiples of the same colours on wooden spools.
I was taken aback by the variety of bright bold colours and the fact they there were so many, it looked as though she kept on collecting them in the same colours and didn't use them. Possibly saving them for a special project.
To be perfectly honest it didn't look to me like a collection of thread an old fashioned Mennonite lady would have. This made me smile!!
I imagine buying the thread for her was a treat and every time she went to the fabric store the same bright colours would catch her eye and she'd buy some more only to realize she already had some safely tucked away, yet secretly loved her growing collection of colourful threads that never saw the light of day.
I wonder what projects she imagined when she bought these bright bold colours, was there always a little girl wanting to come out and wear a beautiful brightly coloured dress and why didn't she use them?! Was she afraid of what others may have thought of her style ?!
Makes me look at what I have and what I enjoy and what am I secretly holding on to, a stash of goodies that would be better shared than hidden in private.
I think each one of us has a hidden stash of goodies that we were meant to share with the world maybe it's your voice, your writing, your ability to make someone feel welcome, to make someone smile, the way you encourage someone, your ability to sew or build anything without a pattern or plan, your love for science or numbers, whatever your passion is, it was never meant to be kept just for yourself it was meant to be shared and enjoyed by others!
Don't ever hide your special colourful gifts because you are afraid of what others think, take what you enjoy and share it with others today!
I hope Kez can create something beautiful from all these wonderful threads, something that would make her great great Aunty in heaven smile proudly!!

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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Messed Up

~Woke up incredibly frustrated by the circumstances of life and went to journal about it because that's how I get it out of my system.
Then decided to begrudgingly read my bible...quite frankly I didn't feel like it because, just like human nature, we love to blame God when everything doesn't turn out the way we like it to.
So there I was reading in consecutive order from where I left off last time and came across a character who had extreme doubts and unbelief and because of his unbelief he as unable to speak until what God had promised came to pass. Thought to myself, wow that sounds a lot like someone I know, sometimes I wish my big mouth would be shut so that the promises God has made could come to pass in my life!!
As I sat there I was reminded of all the messed up people in the bible....Peter had a temper and he denied Jesus, Thomas was known for his doubt, Paul was a murderer, David was well David, messed up, and so up and down in his emotions reading the Psalms is like going on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Honestly the list could go on for quite a while and yet, yet God was patient and He used each one of those people for something good!!
In some strange way it brings me comfort. Oh I can get angry, I can even give God the silent treatment and secretly blame Him for whatever is going wrong in my life and accuse Him of wrong timing, and yet, yet He chooses to love me and be patient with me. Then He shows me someone in the bible not so different than me at this moment as if to say, ' I see you, I know what you are dealing with and my promises are still there no matter if you believe them or not' now that is a loving, trusting God wouldn't you say?!
We tend to put the biblical characters on a pedestal and tell of how wonderful they are, and they are, yet we don't have to look too far to see their humanness to see their downfalls and I believe that is there for a reason, to give us hope!! Hope that in all their humanness and human mess God is still God and His promises and His love supersedes all our feelings and emotions!!
Preaching to myself today, trust me!! I need this more than ever today and I pray that you too find a glimpse of hope and the energy needed to see this day through!! He loves you so much and He sees your struggles, He can handle your tough emotions! I pray you feel His tenderness and love surrounding you today!!!
Love you friends!

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Monday, November 17, 2014

Memories Of Christmas Past

Putting up the Christmas decorations today I couldn't help but remember our first Christmas after we got married almost 17 years ago.
Noah was five months old and we were renting a really cute house, I wanted to decorate but we had little money so I went to the local gas station and I bought the cheapest tree I could find and brought it home, it was shorter than me and slightly crooked. I invited some friends over and made cookies to decorate and hung them as ornaments, strung popcorn on a string and that was our first tree.
We had no money for presents that year. Conrad's grandparents sent out $35.00 to buy Noah a gift and bring it to the gathering, which we did, then we rewrapped it so he had a gift to open on Christmas morning.
It brings tears to my eyes when I think of how far we've come, see we were also on the local helping hands foodbank and we didn't tell anyone, had either of our parents known they would've stepped in to help and they already often did with groceries, diapers and many meals.
Now I sit in my beautiful home with a tree in almost every corner and bins of decorations and yet still remember our first Christmas fondly and recognize this is all fleeting!
To be honest this year we've seen our share of ups and downs financially. Who knows if next year we could be spending Christmas in an apartment. Yet it is truly amazing to know in my heart I'm totally okay with whatever the future holds.
That is the miracle in all this, to know God has worked in my heart in such a way that going through the various seasons of life I've learnt the value of family, not things or the house I live in. That my security comes from him, not a number in my bank account.
I've learnt thankfulness in whatever circumstances I'm faced with, in all seasons.
I know I will never go hungry or homeless and that is truly something to be thankful for!
Friends no matter where you find yourself this season, in plenty or in want, I pray you find the love of family, friends and the peace of God that surpasses all human reasoning!!

Who knows what the future holds?! For today I will enjoy the warmth of the fire, the flickering of lights in my home and thank God I get to enjoy all this for another year!
God Bless you friends!!!
Love you all!!

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Tuesday, November 04, 2014


There have been some areas of my life that I've really been struggling, even borderline feeling hopeless and then today I came across this again... it is impossible to please God apart from faith...and I sat there feeling a little guilty that I don't have what it takes and I try to ramp up my faith in these areas, struggling to be free.
Then I kept reading.....anyone who approaches God must believe both that He exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who seek him.
It dawned on me, that is faith, the fact that I believe He exists and He cares enough to respond to me!! I don't need to ramp up anything I need to simply believe He is there and He cares for me!
So what area are you struggling with? Relationships, loneliness, finances, doubt, fear, illness ? Instead of asking yourself if you have faith to see these things through ask instead do you believe that God exists? Do you believe He cares enough to respond to you? If the answer is yes, even if the answer is a shaky yes because you are not yet fully convinced He cares, I believe He can work with that!!
Don't give up!!! He does loves you, He cares about you and He doesn't want any of us struggling alone in any area of life!!!
So although I am not experiencing victory in the areas that I'm struggling, I do believe that He is there and He will see me through and eventually I will come through this victorious because I am choosing to believe!!! I know this is not always easy, choosing to believe, yet living in hopelessness much harder! So will you join me today dear friend? Believe with me that He is with us and that He cares deeply about us and He will see us through!!
I love you friends I hope you find the hope, strength and encouragement you need today to keep on moving forward!!

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