Monday, June 29, 2009

When Frustration Breeds Discontentment

Many moments in the past little while I have found myself uttering these words ' this sucks I am going to go crazy'. Most often it is because of my children arguing, fighting, hurling words at each other that are downright awful and nothing I say seems to makes any difference.

I then sit back and get incredibly frustrated and discouraged and immediately it leaves me with a feeling of discontentment. Discontentment is a slippery slope, it allows thoughts of something never being enough, someone never doing the right thing, life just never going right.

Understandably there are times in life when I get frustrated because things aren't happening the way I would like them to go but when I allow the discontentment into my life that is when things take a turn for the worst. A simple argument between my children can lead to thoughts of wishing I had different kids....see?? a scary slope to be on and one that I believe God wants us so to guard our heart against. Instead of discontentment we are asked to be thankful in all things and to always be giving thanks.

In a moment of sheer frustration yesterday when the kids were once again hurling words and anger at each other in the van I turned to Conrad and said ' you know what? a parent of a sick child would have this any day over having to see their child suffer .' So in that moment even though my feelings may have been ones of frustration and anger I chose to thank God for my healthy children and that in that moment they were sitting in my van arguing with each other because I know I would rather have that any day over living a lonely, selfish existence of having things the way I think they should be.

I am sure there will be many moments of frustration over the period of summer holidays but I know for myself I want to guard against it breeding discontentment in my life because I know I have so much to be thankful for!!!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

MOMENTS to Remember

This weekend I got to know a little guy with the most beautiful smile that melts my heart and a twinkle in his eye that creates a longing inside of me to want to be a child again. I met a little girl whose laugh lights up a room, whose eyes are the most amazing hue of blue that pierce your heart. These two are my niece and nephew, my brother flew out for a visit I have not seen them 1.5 years and that is a long tim
e when it comes to children, it took time for them to get to know me and I finally got little Blakey-Boy on my side just in time for them to leave again.

So many emotions were felt for me during this time of visiting, I longed to visit and share with my brother the way it had always been, I longed for complete family unity and seeing my family together and happy and lastly I longed for a memory to be created that would last a life-time not only for the kids but for the family here as well.

Here is what I can tell you, I did get to re-connect with my brother, not so much in heart to heart speaking but rather in time and in emotions felt through hugs a language much deeper than words. I did get to see family unity, a mother and son coming together also with words unspoken. A father and son spending some time alone together. And last but not least I got to see memories being created that will be taken with me for a lifetime.

Pictures were taken till it felt as though I couldn't take anymore, albums and DVD's were made for the kids so that they wouldn't forget their family here and most importantly peace was shared. I am thankful for so many things but right now most of all for family. A family that loves to laugh, hug and spend time together, it may get rowdy with 10 kids running around but the underlying feeling is love!

(click to enlarge photos)

Me and My brothers, and a small Fathers Day photo shoot.

My Beautiful Niece Amy~ you are a bright light little girl and I love your laugh and your stunning blue eyes.

My Nephew Blakey-Boy I will miss your smile, it really truly melts my heart!
You will be missed!!

Thanks Allan for taking the time to come and visit! Thanks Beck for lending us your family for the week, they are incredibly precious you are so blessed to have them as your family!!
Love you all so very much~

We also celebrated my honey's 39th birthday!!

Conrad you are the love of my life and I can't imagine my life without you!! I pray for many years of health and happiness, love you and can't wait to experience many more exciting moments with you!!

And of course Fathers Day, I am so blessed to have a father who I love so much and is tender, loving and a lot of fun and a Father-in-law that is an amazing grandparent and loves his family and we even get along ;) !!
Love you both!!

God is good and today as I rest my head on the pillow and shut my eyes there may be a few tears because I will miss my brother and his kids but I know without a doubt that I am blessed to be surrounded by the love of family whether near or far.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Two Farmers

How do two farmers pass the time at a local town fair?

Talking fields, tractors, feeding systems, pigs and then repeat.

This is a picture of my dad and a fellow farmer that he met up with at the fair this weekend, they stood there chatting for over an hour and didn't notice the crowds passing by.

Some things never change, sure the time period and maybe the lack of overalls and a missing piece of straw in mouth but when two farmers come together with a common interest you might as well keep on walking and let them do their thing or find a seat close by and admire the passion that they have for what they do because after-all where would we be without the farmers in our world?

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Just Being There

Friday I spent time at Noah's track and field meet in a local town. It was freezing cold for a June day but decided to venture out to see him compete. As I was standing there watching him I found myself getting really emotional and I kept on telling myself 'Louise, seriously why are you tearing up, it is just a track meet with a bunch of kids', yet there I stood tears in my eyes watching my big boy.

His final event was a 100m relay with three other boys and as he ran his portion of the race I stood there screaming and cheering this time seriously welling up on the tears so I texted Conrad and I told him I thought it was crazy that I was crying watching Noah run because it isn't really a 'big -life' event, he quickly texted me back and said 'Louise ,they are all 'big-life' events and you are blessed to be able to share them with him, every moment that you share together is a 'life' moment. So I let the tears trickle and then quickly wiped them away before Noah could see I was so emotional, because afterall how cool would that be to an almost 11 year and his friends.

Living life is a series of 'life' moments strung together to make a lifetime of memories and I feel so blessed to have shared one of those moments with my son.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Distraction of Comparison

Sitting in a room of friends looking around at everyone my mind can very easily wander and think up all sorts of not-so-positive things. A bunch of 'if-onlys' come to mind, you know what I mean, if only I was as creative as so and so, if only I had such a willingness to help others all the time like so and so, if only I could write as good as so and so, if only I was as smart as so and so. You know those thoughts and those are only the ones that we 'can't physically' see never mind the ones that we can see like someones nice legs, eyes, figure etc. It is so easy to become so wrapped up in what everyone has that we so easily forget what we have to offer.

There is such a negative flow of this in our culture today that we forget that there is a unique contribution to the Kingdom of God that only you or I can make. We are put here for a special purpose that only we can fulfill. That is the whole meaning of the body of Christ, God has placed unique abilities in everyone individually, I am not meant to fill the role of that one person who has such amazing God-given creative abilities in a certain area. So much time and effort is spent in trying to be like everyone else attempting to fill a role that I was never meant to fill. If only each member of the body of Christ could realize that they are here to be a part of the body not the entire body and if everyone does their part the body can function the way it was meant to function. That really helps me let go of all the frustration and the jealousy of trying to be like someone else and conjure up a gift inside of me that I just simply don't have? It really opens up the freedom to encourage someone in the role that they are meant to fill, without feeling like I am any 'less' of a person.

What it really boils down to is that if you are trying to be like everyone else and not doing what God put you here to do, I am missing out. Really, I am missing out, the world is missing out on that unique something that only you can share. There could be a book inside you that someone needs to read, there could be a message inside of you that will change someones life forever, there could be someone waiting to hear a life-changing song that you need to write, there could also be someone looking for the hand of God that only you can extend to them.

So just be you, don't be your neighbor, don't be your best friend, don't be the lady in your church that you admire so much..... Be you, because in God's eyes that IS good !! Don't get me wrong it is important to have good role models in our life but to want to be, just like them, is where I think we go wrong, unless of course that role model is Jesus.

I really didn't mean to get 'my preach on' but I really feel this is an area especially for women that we are battling and I really felt as though someone who reads my blog whether they comment or not needed to hear it. The most important thing I can to say to anyone is that God really loves you, He has amazing plans for your life and if you can catch even a glimpse of your potential in Him today then this post has served its purpose.

Have a great day everyone.