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Wednesday, March 04, 2009

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

This morning started like any other, parents and kids rushing around getting ready for our various things we had to do today when I stopped and looked at my middle son and had this conversation...

"Ezra did you ever apologize to that girl you kicked at school the other day?"

'Umm I think so.' Ez

"Not good enough, did you or did you not apologize?"

'I don't think so.' Ez

"Well then that is your job today at school, I want you to find that girl at school and apologize for kicking her"

'No mom I don't' want to, it wasn't my fault and I am not the only one'. Ez

" It doesn't matter whose fault it is, you have to take responsibility for your actions and apologize"

Insert wailing and gnashing of teeth from middle son Ezra.

Meanwhile I am standing my ground and not backing down, letting him know that Noah(oldest son) will find him at first recess and walk with him to find the girl and apologize and if he doesn't do that Noah will call me and I will call the principle and get her involved.

Insert MORE wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Then he stops and turns to me and says emphatically
'WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR JOB SO SERIOUSLY?'

This caught a bit off guard and this is what I told him...

" Because I am not raising kids, I am raising adults and if you have such a difficult time humbling yourself to apologize to a girl that you hurt at school imagine what a rough time you will have apologizing to your wife someday when you hurt her, the only thing in the way is your pride."

So I dropped him off at school needless to say he was very angry with me and slammed the door and walked away....so today I am praying for my boy that he can swallow his pride and humbly walk to this girl and apologize.

As a mother I always hope I am doing the right thing and doing my best to raise my kids to be loving adults goodness knows it isn't easy but I really hope all this pays off......

****update Ezra came home from school and let me know that the girl wasn't there today but stated that he WOULD go and apologize to her tomorrow if she is there.....I guess with a little time to think it wasn't so bad afterall, now hopefully he remembers tomorrow..you can bet I'll remind him ;) thanks for all your words of encouragement!!
*********Update, Ezra did in fact apologize and shared that it felt really good to do that and that next time it won't be so hard!!! (AMEN my mother's heart smiles)

14 comments:

Jody said...

Wow, good job! It is so important for us to remember that we're raising adults, not kids who we want to like us.

ValleyGirl said...

Good for you!

What impresses me most about this is that he recognizes it's your responsibility to teach him and guide him. Clearly, you're doing something right!!

andrea said...

i love that perspective! raising adults...
that's a teachable moment and he'll remember that for the rest of his life! it hurts now but it'll make his life so much better!
you are such a good mom!

Nadine said...

Louise - You are a really good mom with much wisdom. I love your response.

Debbie said...

You are a good mom. I would do the same. I hope he did it

Andrea said...

You're such a good mom...and your kids get to see that on a daily basis!!

Dana said...

you really are a number #1 mom!!

Roo said...

right on.
your post reminded me of a something i heard someone say once. "we have ONE SHOT to raise responsible children"

thank GOD we have help from a higher source.
xo

Alexis Jacobs said...

Good job mom!

Kathy said...

Thanks for the reminder. I think Riley kicked the same girl (but it didn't hurt!!!!) I forgot about the apology. I'll have to ask when he comes home today.

lil ole' me..... said...

Good for you!
I'm sure your children will appreciate how seriously you took your job when they are adults!

Kathy and Carl said...

You are so right! Raising adults, not kids. Louise, I'm so proud of you that you stuck to your guns. You and Ezra are better for it. I remember Beth Moore saying that just because it hurts or is difficult, doesn't mean it's bad. That's the truth. Sometimes things are difficult, but better for us in the long run. Keep raising adults!!

candypb said...

I can totaly this unfold in your house. LOL... Shel agrees...
Your are a great mom. I'm so glad that you had such great words to share with Ez. I'll call you next time I need some smart thing to say to Jade. Love you much!

svea said...

wow louise, I am totally blessed by observing your parenting heart. your children are truely blessed to have you and conrad training them up in the way they should go. I miss you and hope we can connect soon. ...ps I shared this post with david and he was also very encouraged.