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Thursday, September 11, 2008


SELF-HELP or SELF-HURT??!?!

I love to read and most of the time it is some sort of murder mystery, espionage or chicky-like book that I am reading. I also have a steady stream of 'self-help' books that I read, I read these to improve my marriage, my life in general and of course my parenting.

Well it seems lately it has been more of a 'self-hurt' book that I am reading than a help so far, last night as I was reading this bookI kept on exhaling loudly and Conrad finally says 'Louise relax, you are fine.' I turn over and I say' I don't know that I am, according to this book I am not doing enough to teach our kids.' ...well this continued into a long conversation between us on what we are responsible for as parents and that eventually our kids have to put effort into it as well. But I can't help to think that if I was doing more, the kids would 'turn' out for sure. I guess there is only so much 'doing' that I can do, I know that I am not meant to do this on my own strength even though I try all the time. I think it is every parents desire that their children turn out to be well balanced, productive adults who love and respect others and this is something that we are responsible to teach....I know that I am only human and that I can't possibly teach my kids all that there is to know about life and that is where trust comes in, trusting that what I have forgotten or missed the Lord will bring someone into their life to teach them.
This parenting thing can be overwhelming and even though I feel like hurling that book across the room at times I will continue reading it because I know that there are things in there that I can definitely learn so for now it may be causing me some hurt I will wait it out till it becomes a help in my life and that of my kids!!
That all being said it IS a great book and a great read for those raising kids!!!

12 comments:

candypb said...

Just remember that your a great mother. And reading this book is showing it. "I have to admit, I've never read a book on raising kids" Sound like I should give that book a shot. I could always learn a thing or two.
Take care my love. Can't wait for tonight.

Jody said...

I have read a couple of marriage and parenting books that have left me feeling extremely inadequate and down right dangerous!! The key is to push through and meditate on what is realistic for YOU. Remember God created your kids special - just for you and Conrad. He knew you would be the best for them and that you would make mistakes. Our mistakes make room for our amazing Father to work. Thanks for the amazing evening of cookies, coffee and creativity! You are inspiring, warm and someone I am truly looking forward to knowing more. Thanks again for welcoming me into your home.

PamJ said...

I really hope that you can take something good from that book! Before I read the last comment I was thinking you should chuck the book! If it's no good and making you feel unworthy and like you are not doing enough then leave it across the room when you throw it there. But since you did indeed say the book is great then I can throw that comment out the window...
PS Kezia and Tristan are in the same class :) and I am Shelley's neighbor (that is me putting 2+2 together for you! if you didn't know already ;)

Louise said...

Candy- thanks dear, I do enjoy reading parenting books they have given me a lot of ideas along the way. Looking forward to tonight too!!

Jody- yeah totally agree with you I will push through...and thanks for your kind comments regarding last night,I had a great time too and am looking forward to all the girl chat time to come!! great to finally get back into scrapbooking!

Pam- Hey there I had no idea..thanks for putting the 2&2 together for me. That is so neat..you been in town long?? And yes eventhough I have felt like throwing the book far away I have actually learnt a lot!! Just have to implement it now... ;)
Have a great day!

andrea said...

i love those types of books especially when you can chose and use certain ideas of a parenting style. We do know our children best, thankfully, but it's hard to see the big picture when we are dealing with certain situations. I know though, you can walk away feeling like a brutal parent if you read everything or depending on your mood! Asking God for wisdom to recognize the 'red flags' before incidents occur is powerful. After all, He is the Ultimate Parent!!!

Louise said...

Andrea - AMEN well put!!

Debbie said...

I am reading a good book that I think you would enjoy and maybe need. It's called "I was a good mom until I had kids." I bought it off of Amazon. It talks about all the expectations we as mothers put on ourselves to be perfect, all the guilt we feel for not doing enough. It puts things back into perspective. It's helping me because I'm like you, never think I'm doing enough. I am always amazed when I see these exceptional kids, or olympic athletes and say ....How can I get one of those kids? Am I doing enough. Good luck My thoughts are with you

Denise said...

I'll have to get it! Looks great!

MamaGeek said...

This makes me want to add it to my library queue. Having said that, I've never really read a parenting book before (OY).

Rose said...

These books do sometimes make one feel inadequate and I have started a few and put them aside because I was always second guessing myself and heaping on the guilt. My hubby says God does not want us to guilt ourselves but to love ourselves and try our best and if one day it goes badly tomorrow is a new day. If we need to apologize we need to do that but not to beat ourselves up all the time, God is the ultimate teacher and parent as the one girl said it. I know you are an awesome parent and I have learned a few things from you so pat yourself on the back and say "yes, I am a good Parent" and take from the book what applies to you.
I totally understand what you're feeling and thanks for the idea of the book, I always need help in this area as well.
Love you Sister!

Kathy and Carl said...

Sigh, sometimes the books give us so much great advice, and other times it overwhelms us. I think taking the bits that encourage us and then leaving the rest. And as for parenting, we have realized that we can't do it alone. We need friends and family to rally around us; there are a few who have built relationships with our kids to pass down good qualities that unfortunately neither Carl nor I possess. So figure that between you, your husband and those great influences, those kids are and already are marvelous little pieces of heaven. It's obvious that good works have already been done and are shining from your kids.

Louise said...

Debbie- that book sounds fantastic I'll have to get it ;)

Denise- yeah it has a lot of great points, like raising your kids for their future not just for the present...

mamageek- I am sure you aren't alone in that and don't go feeling guilty, must just mean you have perfect kids...lol...don't we all wish eh?

Rose - yeah agree with you God is the ultimate teacher!!

Kathy- you are so sweet, that last sentence brought tears to my eyes..thanks for the encouragement