Tuesday, March 18, 2008

WHAT did you just say??

Ever have one of those moments when you are in your own little world when suddenly words being spoken around you 'wake' you up and you repeat the words in your head and then it dawns on you and you say' WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?' okay this can't be done when you are over hearing a conversation of complete strangers in public but this can be done when it is one of your kids.

This happened to me the other day as Keziah was getting ready to get into the hot tub and is wearing a bikini and I am sitting nearby reading a book and then I overhear her saying " I am fat, yup look at me I am fat" at this point my heads jerks up and I almost yell 'WHAT DID YOU SAY??' and she looks at me all guilty and then I proceed to give her the 'lecture'...that she is NOT fat and that is not nice to say and God made her beautiful and you are only SIX years old what are you talking about etc. etc. I think I scared that out of her ( for now).

Then comes the guilt I feel, how often has she maybe overheard me on a bad day standing in front of the mirror saying 'man am I ever fat, look at those ugly legs and tummy etc etc' I know I have come a long way since I used to put myself down ALL the time and now I am very careful about when I say stuff to make sure it isn't around the kids but I wonder how does God feel when He hears me say that. After all He is the one who created me and Loves me no matter what I may look like. The anger and frustration I felt when I heard my girlie say that ,hurt me and how much MORE does my Father in heaven care about me than I do for my own child. Words are so powerful spoken in anger, frustration, pain or even happiness they are just as powerful every time and remembered by little ears to be pulled out of the memory bank at anytime and then turned inward.

I also know that girls are feeling the pressure younger and younger to conform to a certain image of beauty and I have heard other girls her age make comments like that....SERIOUSLY what is happening to our little girls, can't we just let them be little girls? I guess we have to lead by example and if that is all they hear us obsess about then maybe they feel they have to do the same.......yikes!

Anyway..I will continually become more aware of the words coming out of my mouth because once they are out they are hard to get back!! What is that saying again "Speak out of anger and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret!" I guess that goes for frustration and disappointment too!


Andrea said...

How sad that little 6 year old girls are already thinking that they are FAT!

I'm glad you were able to 'talk some sense' into her. She is such a beautiful child, and for her to think that she is fat or ugly is just wrong.

I'm glad that even though I know I could stand to lose 20 pounds, I don't focus on it. I have finally come to a point in my life where I am content with how I am and where I feel confident that I am a beautiful child of God. Of course we still need to take care of ourselves and stay healthy -- but everybody was created in God's image, and God don't make no junk!

Amen, sista'!

Louise said...

Andrea- yeah totally I hate the fact that pressure is on them at such a young age. I hear ya about being content, I have come a long way from hating myself to being happy with who I am no matter what the scale says!! Amen to that, I agree with taking care of ourselves completely and I love what you said. God doesn't make no junk!!

Roo said...

ahhhhhh!! bless your mothers heart!!! they are like little sponges and i am just beginning to realise it. lately - EVERYTHING that comes out of my mouth....comes out of shilohs mouth a moment later. it kinda freaked me out but now i'm thinking it might be an excellant accountability partner.

lil ole' me..... said...

This is a great post... and so true.
I've heard my lil niece talk about the "chub" on her stomach (which is flat as a board). It is so sad.
So good for you to be aware that what you say may affect your daughter.

gloria said...

i don't know why, but this is something i have always been alert for in our home... no one was allowed to talk down about themselves or call themselves fat...

of course, i am exempt from that law, to which my son responds (when i make a fat joke about myself), you are not fat mom, you are perfect.

bless his heart!

Nadine said...

Amen. Great post. What is He thinking when we trash talk ourselves? Thank you for the reminder.

svea said...

Wow What a blessing that God does work in our lives and we can trust Him for heart changes. My heart leaks out my mouth so many days, and Eiley reflects it back to me. You are such a great encouragement by your example of humility and walking in the truth with your daughter. I am glad God made you you!

Wanda said...

Boy Louise, is this a lesson for all of us. Right now I have a dear friend whose daughter battles eating disorders. She is so so thin, and now because of an illness in the family, she had slipped back into this eating problem. So many things have made us look at ourselves wrong an TV is a big one!! Why is size 4 a magic number! It's not a sin to be a 14.
You're a good momma, keep an eye on her and keep feeding her praise and reminding her of her infinite value.
Love and Hugs

Carl & Kathy Heppner said...

Wow...this post has given me a lot to think about. It reminds me that little ears are listening and processing everything. Thank you for the honest talk and for the reminder. I have been encouraged!

ValleyGirl said...

Yeah, it bothers me that my girls probably hear far more ideas about physical appearance RIGHT HERE AT HOME than anywhere else right now!

This is one of the biggest reasons that my focus has changed from specifically losing weight, to just LIVING WELL and doing right by my body. You know, learning to treat it like a beautiful temple rather than a landfill site! It's tough to change those bad habits that are so terribly ingrained in our brains already, but this is exactly the reason it's so terribly important. And, of course, our overall health and well-being then benefits as well.

I don't know if you've read any of my "wellness Wednesday" posts over the last 5 weeks or so, but they speak to my shifting focus and it's been really helpful in changing my attitude.