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Wednesday, October 03, 2007

WOW...life unhinged....
I guess maybe saying unhinged is a tad strong but my nerves have been getting to me and this is how I feel at this moment in time, this morning I awoke in the wee hours at 5am and headed to the city for my early 6:50am live radio interview, where they made light of the fact that I was trying to SAVE my marriage, we had a good chuckle and I explained how I felt and blah blah blah the interview went well overall I think, it was a bit daunting being live and I was aware of every word and fumbling my words but anyway I wanna say thanks to Jackie for keeping me company!! and then we headed out for breaky and picked up the Free press to see the article that was done about me and the show itself and the written article was fine and well done and then the picture above it says HOEPPNER (right ) and Valana (my co-competitor) and get this it is a picture of BRUCE the host and Valana......this made me laugh SOOOO hard, I hadn't realised I looked so much like a man...LOL!! yeah we had a good chuckle so I sent the reporter a pic and an email stated I was amused and that I sent the picture to prove that I am in fact a woman..heehee!
So here I sit I my computer and I find this really harsh and degrading review of the show...wow like knock em down insulting etc etc. I realise that this happens in tv land and it is to be expected no everyone will enjoy it and I am so guilty of reading these types of articles about someone else and beleiving everything the reporter is saying....but man as hard as it was to read I am so thankful that my self worth does not come from what someone elses opinion of me may be. Yeah so as the time slowly ticks by I get closer to seeing this all unfold 'live' and it is a daunting feeling, vulnerable a bit of a skin crawling feeling, but I hear the passage echoing in my head Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and peace.
I have never expected this to be some vaulting point to stardom or fame I did this to conquer a deeply personal fear ...was the venue a good choice, in my opinion why not? it changed my thinking on many different levels and I am thankful to have had the experience. I pray this may all be used for good and that if it inspires just one person to become more of what God wants them to be then it has been used for good~!
Thanks again to you, my friends and family for your kindness, love and support!!

5 comments:

ValleyGirl said...

I'm really looking forward to watching it -- but of course, I already love the show because I kind of know one of the people starring in it!! I think it will be fabulous and I think it's awesome that you tackled one of your fears this way. Haha, good thing you weren't afraid of heights AND publicity!!

ValleyGirl said...

So, how many fans have contacted you already??!! I just finished watching -- WAY TO GO!! I asked Greg as we were watching, 'does this actually rid you of your fears or does it just help you realize that you can do something despite your fear?' but I think you answered it at the end when you said that one little voice of self-doubt is still there, it just isn't the strong voice anymore.

What an incredible experience that must have been! You're a brave woman! If you can do that -- in addition to motherhood -- YOU.CAN.DO.ANYTHING!!!!

Ruth said...

I LOVED IT LOUISE!!! lovedit. and we had to work hard in order to watch it. we don't really get CBC and so our viewing was done having my hubby hold the rabbit ears a certain way. (he had to stand there the whole time cuz when he walked away everything got staticy again) :)

way to go! you almost had me tearing up when you kissed your family goodbye. :)

Ruth said...

ps now you've got me wanting to climb a mountain. or propell myself off of one. :) or clean some windows. oh! well, maybe not the last one....

Ruth said...

sorry! it me -- AGAIN. but i forgot to add that i especially liked the part where you said, "bite me bruce!"

:)