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Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Five Love Languages....
The other day I was watching a show called Marriage Uncensored and it talks about different aspects of marriage and the other day it was on the Five Love Languages by Dr.Gary Chapman, I have read this book for those of you who haven't they are as follows...
1) Acts of Service

2) Touch
3) Words of Affirmation/Encouragement
4) Gifts
5)Quality Time
Okay so each one of us is one of these... meaning we feel loved when we have one of the above.
I have struggled with this for a while since mine feels like the most selfish one of them all...gifts...yes I love giving gifts and I love receiving gifts in fact that is how I feel loved....this is overwhelming for people who don't love gifts because it feels as though it has to be some big grand gesture....it doesn't...its as simple as a cup of coffee or a pack of gum, just shows that I was thought of in that moment. So as I was discussing this the other day and how it frustrates me, some wise friends told me why not write a list of 100 things that are gifts to me and give it to my hubby...hey I never thought of that before....SO I did it...yup I managed to think of 100 things that I would deem as a gift....they range from a card, chocolate all the way up to gift certificates to various places and every 10th one reads Plan a date, too funny! So what is my point here?? .....I don't know really other than I guess its okay for me to need that right? My hubby needs Acts of Service so me vacuuming my van and washing it is well..the ticket for him I guess. According to Dr.Chapman this is how our 'love tank' is filled, by our love languages. Also gets me thinking about my friends and family and what their love language is and if I am not speaking it they may not 'feel' loved....and my kids too...big eye opener! This year I also have a prayer sister whose love language is Acts of Service and Words of Encouragement, acts of service has always been a stretch for me because I would just rather give the gift....oh well, in ALL things we grow or we stand still!! Just another stretching area for me........
Oh yes ramblings of Louise....lol!
What is/are your love language(s) ?? Do the 30 second test here. Five Love Languages

6 comments:

Erin said...

That was a really great idea to make a list. I guess Jer's not a mind reader and if I would do the same he might not be so overwhelmed. I'm very impressed that you did it. It's a big step toward having your love tank filled up. way to go!!!

it's a gong show... said...

Oh Louise, we are sooo the same. I am gifts and feel selfish about that and my husband is acts of service (and the physical touch thing but we won't go there). I have been telling my husband this for years (and that is not an exaggeration). I am so going to do that 100 list thing and give it to M.

I'm with you on the grand gesture thing too. One of the gifts that I treasure the most is a modest clay coffee mug that my dearest friend brought back for me from the market in Mexico, she commented to me that "now me, you, and J can all have coffee together at the trailer this summer with our matching mugs!" Just the thought that at that moment on her vacation she thought of me and decided to do that is priceless. I treasure that mug and would be very upset if it broke.

Maybe we really are from Venus!

P.S. The 5 love languages for kids is awesome too!

B

Elin said...

That is such a good idea! I want to do that too - one of these days:) Not sure I could come up with 100, but whatever I can do would be better than nothing :)

shelley said...

Iam such a fan of the love language thing. It makes so much sense. My hubby's is acts of service too. Ya, so clean gitch, and washed dishes goes a long way for him.

esther said...

that is such a great book...i think i need to read up on it again!!! way to go making the list-quite the feat!!!

lil ole' me..... said...

I have loved figuring out our love languages. It is such a great concept to apply to marriages, and all other relationships!
As long as your love tank is filled, what more do you need?!? :)
Oh, and I wouldn't worry about Gifts being your love language. I don't think it is selfish at all.
The list is a great idea!!!

Great post! :)